That was horrible.

My biggest fear, since Odin became sick, was that he would die alone and uncomfortable. We took him to the vet tonight to have him put down and requested to be there when the sedative was administered. His liver was so far gone that his blood wasn't clotting and two vet techs and the vet couldn't get an IV in him, so the vet had to kill him by sticking the medicine directly in his heart and we couldn't be around to see that. He was bleeding so badly that they wrapped him in two towels.
His burial was what I wanted, though. This is so gross. I'm sorry. He was still warm and pliant so we let him sleep nice and wrapped up in a little box and he is deep in the ground. I didn't ever want to hold him when he was cold and stiff, or really anything that wasn't nice hot cat body temperature. I kissed his little dead head so much.