Monday, June 28, 2010

A few thoughts on tattoos

Call me old fashioned. Say I'm infringing on a persons right to express themselves. Say I'm afraid of the human body, which is naturally beautiful.
I have 2 tattoos. One of them is on my butt cheek and one of them is between my shoulder blades. I know people can see the one on my back. When I am in professional situations, I cover it up. A collared shirt or a business jacket does the trick.
How about if all the people who had tattoos involving nudity or curse words did the same thing? Either get your tat in a place where it won't be visible or cover it up. Today I was getting a prescription filled and saw a woman who was about my age, maybe a year or so older, with a backless sundress and on her back was huge tattoo of a female angel, completely naked, and like squatting/ spread eagle. 100% anatomically correct.
Art is expression. Tattoos are art. Express yourself all you want. I LOVE my tattoos and want to add more. I'm a body-loving hippe liberal who thinks that the human body is a beautiful instrument. I did NOT want to, or need to, see a drawing of nipples and labia at slightly lower than eye level. Could I look away? Actually, it would be hard. This lady was standing slightly in front of me and we were looking for medicine on the same shelf, so I had to look in her general direction. It would have been alot easier for her to wear a tank top under her dress (or, you know, not own the dress) in order to cover the angel from the neck down. Not that hard.
Anyway, maybe I'm an old lady who is cranky and doesn't know what is cool and just goes around being a self-righteous brat on the internet. Who knows.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

None of these words are sexual euphamisms.

The 41 inch long catfish on my back porch is still alive. To test this theory, you can knock on its head.

Friday, June 25, 2010


John and I have changed each other for the better. I mean, we were already perfect, but you know what I mean.

I used to avoid sweating no matter what the cost. I still hate it with a passion. It is SO unladylike. It's nasty and messes up hair and make up and seriously is just the opposite of everything that I like about being a woman. However, I'll sweat for my hubby. We're doing several home improvement projects and working outside in SC makes you fudging SWEAT. I hate it, but I'll do it. We've also started the p90x workout program. Holy sweating crap. The "off" days involve doing really complex stretches and even the stretches make me sweat. This is serious work out stuff.

I'm not the only one who has changed. John has become catty and gossipy and I love it. Three years ago he couldn't care less about other people. Now he texts me all his work gossip. I'm so lucky.

I think it's a generational thing

Michael Jackson died one year ago today and when I heard that he died I was like, "Ok, a culturally irrelevant child molester who has prescription drug problems is dead." I worked with a woman who was 2 years younger than me and she was like, "Yup, that's just what I thought." Then a co-worker who was about 10 years older than us told us about how we didn't understand, that MJ was a huge pop star, he united people, he was so important.
Ok, cool. And then he went off his rocker and surrounded himself with people who created a world without repercussions, altered his looks so dramatically he was unrecognizable, and engaged in deviant and inappropriate relationships with minors.

As if my blogging weren't random enough

Random thoughts. And GO!
1) SOOOO I'm taking 2 classes during first summer session and it's taking over my life. Both are really interesting. One is environmental health sciences and one is methods in community assessment. I was warned by several people that the professor who teaches it is crazy hard. Apparently last year was the first year that she taught it and after the final exam several people in the class went to the dean of the school together and complained about her. Yeah. On the first day of class she said that she had made the material easier than last summer. Oh, the poor people last summer. We have 6 assignments due in 4 1/2 weeks. This class has taken over my life.
2) I'm becoming really frustrated at the fact that I can't find a residency. Basically for my final semester I'm supposed to do a residency and have a thesis/ measurable output about the place where I'm doing my residency that relates to what I'm studying in public health. I do this for free. I originally wanted to start my residency in second summer session so I wouldn't have alot of pressure on me in the fall, when I'm taking 3 classes. How about NO ONE whom I contacted about residencies wants to have me as a resident? They don't want to have a grad student working for them for free. FOR FREE. So now I'm still on the hunt for a residency and I can't start it during second summer session so I have to start in the fall and have a really busy/ stressful fall. UGH.
3) My garden is AWESOME!!! I love eating tomatoes, strawberries and zuchinni from my awesome garden. As the summer goes on I'll get more tomatoes, more strawberries, squash, cucumbers, eggplant, basil, green peppers, jalapenos and habaneros. In the fall I plan on pulling out alot of the flowers that are left over from the previous homeowner and planting garlic and onions.

Nail in the bivalve coffin

You can get hepatitis A from bivalves. Cooking won't make it go away. Bivalves (clams, oysters, mussels, etc.) get hepatitis A from eating poop that has hep A in it. AAAAAaaaand I'm done.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Crossing my fingers

I'm scheduled to pick up my car from the repair shop at about 11 this morning. This is after initially being scheduled to pick it up on Friday the 11th, then Tuesday the 15th, then Thursday the 17th, then last Friday. Technically I did pick it up last Friday, but picking it up only to return it less than 2 hours later because the battery isn't working doesn't count. So yeah. Considering that my initial consultation regarding the car was two weeks ago today, I'm REALLY looking forward to having it back.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I still love you, cat. I'm not petting him out of love. It makes him uncomfortable. I pet him out of evil.

What John just said to Odin as he (John) was petting an obviously irked Toonces.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Delicious and nutritious!

If it weren't for my bastardized white russians (no vodka, just cream liquor and milk) I would get almost no calcium.


The yoga part of p90x should not be called Yoga X. It should be called Queefing X. Or Queef o rama. Or You will queef so much your husband will accuse you of forcing them out when you are not.
During one of the upper thigh stretches John was like, "UUUNNH this burns!" and I was like, "Yeah, do you realize this is the EXACT position you like me to be in except I'm on silk sheets?" His response: "Well then you should be good at it."

Saturday, June 12, 2010

And IIIIIIIIiiiiiiIIIIII... will always judge YOUUUUUUUU

WHY DO YOU PLAY THIS SONG AT CELEBRATIONS OF LOVE!?!?!?!?! HMMM???? Could it be the lyrics, "Bittersweet memories/ that's all I'm taking with me"? Or, "We both know I'm not what you need?"

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Bambi, you stink.

EWWWWwwwwww. John and Mike went deer hunting over Memorial Day weekend (for those of you well versed in hunting seasons, SquirrelGirl, Mike's grandmother owns a small farm and she got a short term permit to hunt because deer were eating her crops) and got one doe. John brought back about 30 pounds of meat and decided that instead of taking it to a butcher he would prepare it himself. He did a great job of making ribs, steaks, and I was especially proud of his ground meat mastery. It's tough to mix the right combo of meat and fat, but he did it. He used the meat grinder attachment of my KitchenAid mixer to make the ground meat. I have to say it's adorable when he and Mike make jerky or do anything else uber manly and meaty because all of our kitchen appliances and accessories are pink. So John weighed the dear meat on a pink scale and ground it with a pink mixer. Well I had never cleaned or used the meat grinding attachment before. I read the manual and it said that the attachment was dishwasher safe. Great! Into the dishwasher it goes. Lord, that thing STANK. I mean, it just smelled worse than anything I've ever smelled before. I inspected it and realized that you had to take it apart before washing it. Up in the tubes and gears and grater/ screen thing were fine pieces of deer meat and fat and some of the meat had actually turned green.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Doggie Dreaming

Cujo does not bark. I wish I could take credit; I got him that way. I have no clue if he just doesn't want to bark or if one of his former owners taught him not to. The only time he will bark is if other dogs are barking. Endearingly, he looks at them when they do it. For example, if someone is coming in through the garage and Cujo is the only dog around, he'll look at the garage door and get really wiggly and excited but not bark. If another dog is there and that dog barks, Cujo will bark and bark and look at the dog, not the garage door, and almost try to get that dog's attention. "Look at me barking! We are barking together! AWESOME!"
Cujo is sleeping next to me and his little feet are twitching and his nose/whiskers are going a mile a minute and he is intermitantly barking. Yay! He's totally dreaming about running around with his doggie buddies.

I picked a great day to watch class from home

Both of my classes this summer can be taken online, but I greatly prefer to go to the classroom and be there. My car is in the shop today so I had to watch my classes online. Not only do I have a weird stomach thing that makes every burp feel like I'm going to throw up, but my afternoon class is UBER boring. The professor is showing us how to research for our final project and I couldn't imagine sitting in the classroom while she's going over websites. "This is how you search for things on the CDC website." Ugh. SO glad I'm here at home.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Chigger, please.

John got chiggers from a hunting trip this weekend. GAAAHHHH must bathe must bathe now must bathe forever...