isn't the pain, it's the disappointment of not getting to actually go into labor and meet our daughter. Our Bradley instructor told us multiple times that labor often starts in the evening and subsides in the middle of the night and will pick up again in the morning. I've had extended periods of false labor over the past 10 days but the worst/ most like real labor was last night. I was just convinced that we were going to head to the hospital and then...nothing. I can handle the pain, but waking up this morning and going through today with just sporadic contractions is the absolute worst. I really, really thought I was showing all the signs of early labor. Grumble grumble.
So I've successfully kept a schedule for the last 2 days: I've gotten up at the same time as I did before, put on make up, put on real clothes, and done grown up things. Today I'm off to a volunteer event, which is my first attempt at doing something professional. I can do this. I can do this.
If you're 38.5 weeks pregnant, have a 20 minute conversation with your estranged father about how much he loves you, and get a couple of emails from coworkers full of positive thoughts, and DO NOT want to sit in the dark crying, don't listen to Ben Harper's "Roses from My Friends."
All I'll say is that for the past few days I thought I was in a bad place, not unlike trying to survive a zombie apocolypse. Then today was like I found out that not only am I trying to eke out an existance in a zombie apocolypse, but there are contaminated zombie guts in my drinking water and I have to leave the place where I'm seeking refuge.