Thursday, November 26, 2009


My wonderful low alcohol tolerance has met its match. John, a female friend and I went out to Wednesday night trivia and John was the DD. He is so wonderful. The bar that has Wednesday night trivia also has $1 well drinks for ladies on Wednesdays. John had like 2 beers and the 3 of us split a plate of nachos. The total tab was $49, not including tip. You can do the math. Congratulations me, I am sickeningly hung over AND hosting Thanksgiving. I imagine being a hostess is alot easier when it doesn't feel like parts of your forehead are floating around you.
On the plus side, I got brazilian bikini waxed and was queef free. Small victories, my friends.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I'm going to pretend this isn't creepy, okay?

There's a doctoral student who is always in the computer lab. He's very loud and outgoing. He friended me on Facebook. No problem. I go by a different first name on Facebook because my husband doesn't want his relationship status to say that he's in a relationship with someone with a male name. NO ONE at school knows me by this name. No one calls me it. I don't refer to myself by it. Dr. Computer Lab now only calls me by my Facebook name and he thinks he's doing the right thing. I guess I could unfriend him. What gives me the creepies is that this dude has also sent me an email complimenting me on how good I look in my facebook pics. Oh well, I guess weirdness comes in all varieties.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

To Love's Eternal Glory

When people who are clueless about demonstrating love, fidelity, kindness and truthfullness get engaged, it makes me want to smash stuff with a frying pan. It also makes me want to run up to their unsuspecting fiance and scream at a million decibels "I effing GUARANTEE you will be cheated on!!! She cheated on her FIRST fiance! She lied to her best friend! She lied to many people who I love! About two months ago, she agreed to drive to meet up with her first fiance for sex!" Then I would calm down and say "I mean, because of bad weather they didn't meet up for sex, but she agreed to do so, and this was while she was dating you, soooo...that's not like, a good indicator."

Friday, November 13, 2009

The nicest man I ever talked to on the phone just got 13 years in jail.

Yup, that sums it up. The nicest man I ever talked to on the phone was sentenced to 13 years in jail today.
Rep. William Jefferson from Louisiana will have a fascinating movie made about his life in about 20-25 years. Walt from Lost, this is your Ocscar calling. The Federal police raided his home to find tens of thousands of dollars in his freezer, yet he was re-elected. During the investigation, he was on the House Committee for smalll business, prompting many jokes that he would now be keeping his cash in mini-fridges. When the FBI raided his office without a warrant, both sides of the aisle were outraged for the liberal Democrat.
When I worked in DC I, like anyone who is there a while, has some random "celebrity" sightings. Working at a lobbying office increased my chances of this. I saw Ted Kennedy at the Mayflower Hotel (Where Eliot Spitzer arranged his dalliances), President Bush's sister in law had an in-depth conversation with my then-bf and I at a charity event, so on and so forth. One day Rep. Jefferson called one of the people I supported at my old job. The person I supported wasn't able to come to the phone, so Rep. Jefferson left a message with me. While he was talking to me, he got another call. I was seriously on hold for about ten minutes. When he got on the line again, his reaction was along the lines of, "My goodness gracious! My dear, dear girl! I am so sorry! My greatest apologies! I forgot I had you on hold! Please forgive me! I am so sorry!".
Nicest. White Collar Criminal. Ever.

Sunday, November 8, 2009


Heaven, I'm in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak...

My Husband Rocks: Part 1 in a 4,000,000 part series

John and I went out to dinner and fun times with 2 couples tonight. We went to one couple's house and had an awesome time playing games and eating DELICIOUS food. Apparently if you want to have an ice cream orgasm, try Publix's Eggnog Ice Cream. This was a pretty big deal to me because I have been strapped to the computer for the past 2 weeks and will be for about another week. I have two papers due on Thursday and just got a part time free lance writing job, with my first assignment due on Monday. I only intended to stay for about 2 hours but we were there from 4 pm till about 9, which was fine. I had a GREAT time, as did John. My workload came up several times in the conversation, and two people made disparaging comments about how I could just put the paper off, or how easy it is to write a paper. I take my graduate school very seriously and comments like these hurt more than the people who say them probably realize.
This made me so grateful that John is so kind and thoughtful and respectful when it comes to my education. He has NEVER made me feel like my classwork can be pushed aside for something that he considers more valuable. I know I am lucky, but it's nights like these that really slap me in the face with how lucky I am.
Also, there was a good chunk of time tonight that I held a sleeping 7 month old baby while John had a kitten sleeping in his lap and massaged my feet. That is my heaven.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Daddy Gaga

My father in law loves to show people how cool and pop-culturally aware he is. His recent kick is Lady Gaga. I honestly don't think he would know a picture of her or any of her songs, but the name is catchy. EVERY TIME we heard a song from a female singer this weekend, he told everyone it was Lady Gaga. This man was born to rock my world.

Monday, November 2, 2009

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and then you have...

Huge, wonderful plus: John patiently listened to me read "Gone with the Wind" to him for 2 hours last night. It was the 3 chapters where Mellie has her baby as Atlanta is burning. It's a fantastic piece of literature and my dear husband listened intently as I read every word. Swoon.

On the other hand, he just really tap danced on my last nerve. He decided we needed to take down the hammock and when he took it down, he put it in the room off of our kitchen (as opposed to the crawlspace or garage or any other logical place.). When moving the hammock in, he knocked over the ironing board, which knocked over the trash can and recycling container. This isn't HIS responsibility to clean up, because apparently HE didn't put the ironing board in an inconvenient place. So please excuse me as I go clean up some trash.

Halloween 2009: A 4 from the Russian judges

I love Halloween. Not for the costumes or parties or candy, but because since kids are a long way in the future for us, if they're there at all, Halloween is my day to ogle many, many stranger's kids and make them happy. I love it!

This year John and I gave our fathers tickets to Clemson's homecoming as Father's Day presents. Little did we know in June that homecoming would fall on Halloween. My parents were down and we had a great time. The game was at 1:30 in the afternoon, which I thought would give us plenty of time to get back to Columbia in order to hand out candy and for John to start his rounds of Halloween partying. We left Clemson in the fourth quarter but decided to go out for a nice dinner, so we didn't get home till about 7:45. "That's not too bad", I thought to myself. When we lived in Greer I had a job that didn't end till 8 pm and I only missed the first few trick or treaters. The majority of them came between 8 and 9:30. Last year I bought $120 worth of candy (toldja I like being the favorite candy house) and we only had 2 bags left. This year I bought 9 bags at Sam's Club of all different kinds of candy. I couldn't wait! Apparently things are different here in Columbia. We got two trick or treaters. Two. All that candy and two trick or treaters. Oh well! I know for next year to be here nice and early if I want to become the favorite candy house! The best part of the night was definitely this:

John's Halloween costume of a chef, with Cujo being a lobster in a pot. Life is good.