When I saw Mariah Carey in Disney’s Christmas Parade last year all I could think of was how she was born to do this. Her life had all lead up to this moment of her lip-synching on a pre-recorded broadcast that celebrates the most sacchrine, commercial aspects of the holiday season while she was pregnant and dressed like a Christmas ornament in a dress so short that the whole world was her gyno. I’m not being facetious. She was born to do that. I was born to do the job that I have now. That’s the best way I can put it. This job is what I was put on Earth to do.
