Stuff that was said today

Izzy, as my SIL visited with us for about 90 minutes: "Is he a boy or a girl?" in reference to my nephew.
SIL, explaining the labor trials and tribulations of Izzy's Mom: "They didn't give her the epidural till she was 7 inches dialated!"

I got no patience, and I hate waitin'

I want to see my nephew. NOOOOOWWWWW now now now now now. AJ will be here on March 1st, according to my SIL's doctor. There have been a few instances when we thought he would come early, but at this point it looks like he will be marinating in uterus juice for at least 6 more weeks. I know that if he is born now he will still be a perfect little man, but will need help with oxygen intake and will probably not know how to suckle. That reflex is the last to develop and it's interesting to me to hear moms who delivered just a few days or weeks early tell about how their 38 week old at delivery babies couldn't quite get the hang of it, while full term or late kids know just what's going on.
However, I am whiny and needy and I just want to kiss AJ's face and tummy and change his lil diaper and all that goodness. He is sooooo ready to come out, immune system be damned! I want to see him!!!

No thanks, kid.

Today while watching Izzy, she ate about 80% of a tootsie roll pop and couldn't finish it. We were in my car when she gave it to me and told me not to eat it. What followed was my first actual fight with a three year old.
"But you gave it to me, so I am going to eat it."
"No, you can have it. Not eat it."
"I'm eating it now."
"No! Don't eat it!"
She wanted me to do *something* with the lollipop that I couldn't understand. She kept saying, "Do this with it." and very demonstratively moving her hands quickly closer to her face and making a weird noise with her mouth. I finally figured it out..."Izzy, I am not hitting myself in the face with a lollipop!"
"If you don't know how to do it, I can help you."

No words needed.

Ok, three words: emergency dental surgery. Wait wait, three more words: dentist moose knuckle.

This displeases me greatly

Comedians, please start being funny again. We were watching a Comedy Central special and it was the guy who won "Last Comic Standing". I only know this because he said it about a dozen times. His name was Jon Reep and the title of his special was "Metro Jethro". His schtick was about how anyone can relate to people from small towns or the south. Jeff Foxworthy, what hell have you wrought? Ok, when a totally funny guy from small town Georgia is funny and from a small town and from the South, thumbs up all around. And then...Larry the Cable Guy. Bill Engvall. That guy who has the cigar. WE GET IT, WHITE MEN. You have wives, kids, and you're from the south. If you're on a blue collar comedy tour, don't you have a blue collar job to get back to? Hunting, dogs, NASCAR...it's done. For me at least. Finito.
Jon Reep did not have a single original bit. He didn't steal, it was just that every joke was like hearing a joke about airplane food. Yup, people in small towns do sit on their porches. They like the county fair, too. Let's hope this brand of comedy is OVER.
As PG as he is, I still love me some Jim Gaffigan. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dwpY9a1-aI

You're welcome.

Down by one on New Years' Resolutions

My 2010 resolutions are to go to church on a regular basis, talk to my brother more, and buy more local food. Staying up till 4 am last night did not help resolution #1. I, as usual, hit the snooze button and missed church. Idealogically I could never be a Southern Baptist, but dang it must be nice to have church like 5 times on Sunday. Ditto for Catholics.
On the bright side, once I rolled out of bed at noon, things were super productive! I trimmed all of our front yard bushed and raked up the leaves and branches, finished the trim in the computer room/ nursery and did the second coat of paint in that room as well. Life is great in 2010!

Talking Crap

In preparation for our feline friend, John and I bought one of those automatically cleaning kitty litter boxes. It arrived a while ago. (Sorry for the late post.) It is bigger than the average litter box, but the shipping from Amazon was a ton of overpackaging. I took a picture of it next to a full size Rottweiler to give it full effect.